{"id":379574,"date":"2013-05-14T17:20:00","date_gmt":"2013-05-14T17:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/2013\/05\/14\/im-mad\/"},"modified":"2013-05-14T17:20:00","modified_gmt":"2013-05-14T17:20:00","slug":"im-mad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/2013\/05\/14\/im-mad\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m Mad"},"content":{"rendered":"
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<\/span><\/div>\n
I\u2019m mad.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Not in the mental sense, though that could be arguable, as much as I\u2019m in my head.<\/span><\/div>\n
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I\u2019m just ill-tempered.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Have been from the time I walked out the door and saw what last night\u2019s freeze did to my plants.<\/span><\/div>\n
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To the flowers that have brought me so much joy<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Slumped over like defeated souls, petals heavy with life\u2019s ice.<\/span><\/div>\n
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I\u2019m mad at Mother Nature.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Freaking irritated.<\/span><\/div>\n
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What the hell\u2019s wrong with her bringing sleet and snow and suck-y weather back, after teasing us with cardinals and spring color?<\/span><\/div>\n
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For Christ\u2019s sake, it was twenty-four degrees at six-thirty this morning!<\/span><\/div>\n
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Eff-ing twenty-four<\/i>degrees!!<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
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I\u2019m mad at myself.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Why the hell didn\u2019t I get creative in coming up with a plan to cover my beloved flora?<\/span><\/div>\n
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Because I was lazy and credulous.<\/span><\/div>\n
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That\u2019s why.<\/span><\/div>\n
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And some form of gullible for believing the fluctuating forecast was somehow going to give us a break.<\/span><\/div>\n
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As if weather had feelings and compassion and would take pity on the flowering vegetation.<\/span><\/div>\n
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As if it cared about our emotions and the fact that we are sick and tired of winter.<\/span><\/div>\n
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As if it cared that I worried about spending the money for the hanging baskets in the first place.<\/span><\/div>\n
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And now they\u2019re toast.<\/span><\/div>\n
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The dainty flowers and spindly stalks black with frostbite.<\/span><\/div>\n
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This one faired the best. The others are completely black.<\/span>\ufeff<\/div>\n
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What the hell\u2019s wrong with me for thinking such, well\u2026madness<\/i>?!<\/span><\/div>\n
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I\u2019m so mad I\u2019m exhausted.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Or, maybe it\u2019s the reverse.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Maybe I\u2019m exhausted from all the running around in this hamster-wheel month that is May.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Maybe I\u2019m mentally depleted by my new group of elementary students who are rude, crude, disrespectful, incorrigible, and afraid of nothing and no one.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Upset that Fave didn\u2019t care enough about his mother to even stick a Happy Mother\u2019s Day note on this month\u2019s cell phone bill he sent me?<\/span><\/div>\n
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Didn\u2019t care enough to plan ahead, so he called, then felt bad that he hadn\u2019t done anything, so he took a picture of flowers at the supermarket.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Irritated that my training partner hasn\u2019t returned my messages or calls about the 5K this weekend, and I think she\u2019s bailing on me?<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
Beauty sent me a beautiful card that talked about mother\/daughter memories.<\/span><\/div>\n
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She wrote a note that we didn\u2019t share the particular experience captured on the card\u2019s cover, \u201cbut we have many other happy memories.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n
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I\u2019ve been thinking about the relationship I had with my children when they were little and wondering if I was present enough?<\/span><\/div>\n
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Lord knows I stressed and exhausted and constantly trying to stay one step ahead of my meddling in-laws.<\/span><\/div>\n
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So I asked Beauty what happy memories she had.<\/span><\/div>\n
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And she couldn\u2019t recite one. Not one fond time together.<\/span><\/div>\n
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She could probably write a bloody essay about the fun she and her happy-go-lucky father have had all these years.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Maybe my body is over the shock of having its appendix and an ovary amputated from my insides, and it\u2019s rebelling.<\/span><\/div>\n
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My body temp is as crazed as the outside air: One minute my insides feel like they are boiling and the next I\u2019m grabbing for layers to wrap myself in.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Maybe my hormones are reacting errantly, like those children I serve, the ones who become even wilder after their lives are turned upside down and inside out when they are yanked from their happy homes by strangers and whisked off to even stranger places.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Right now I\u2019m mad because I want to write about being mad and the ticking clock is reminding me I have to return to work shortly.<\/span><\/div>\n
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I don\u2019t want to go back to being berated and sworn at by delinquently acting children.<\/span><\/div>\n
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I want to curl up on the couch with a warm and fuzzy blanket and take a rejuvenating nap.<\/span><\/div>\n
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A nice, long, Sleeping Beauty kind of slumber, but one where I wake up when my body says it\u2019s rested.<\/span><\/div>\n
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I\u2019m done with being a damsel that needs saving<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
I simply need a little beauty sleep, and for time to freaking stop.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Is that too much to ask for?<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
I could call in sick, but then, again, it wouldn\u2019t necessarily be appropriate to call in at the last minute, especially when we are dangerously understaffed, to say I\u2019m taking a mental health half-day.<\/span><\/div>\n
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That would only make my co-workers mad, which ultimately would only add to my discomfort.<\/span><\/div>\n
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So, I guess I\u2019m stuck with Mad for the time being.<\/span><\/div>\n
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In three hours I\u2019ll be done.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
Big Guy doesn\u2019t have any commitments tonight.<\/span><\/div>\n
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The kitchen is still a disaster from last night\u2019s meal.<\/span><\/div>\n
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So what\u2019s one more day of dirty dishes and counters?<\/span><\/div>\n
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Three hours.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Nap time\u2026<\/span><\/div>\n
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That\u2019ll have to do.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n
<\/span>How about you? Do you ever find yourself in a miserable-for-no-apparent-reason mood? How do you deal with it? What do you do to get over it?<\/o:p><\/span><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
Soon\u2026<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/o:p><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n
\ufeff<\/span><\/div>\n
\ufeff<\/div>\n
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<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/span><\/o:p><\/div>\n
\ufeff<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m mad. Not in the mental sense, though that could be arguable, as much as I\u2019m in my head. I\u2019m just ill-tempered. Have been from the time I walked out the door and saw what last night\u2019s freeze did to my plants. To the flowers that have brought me so much joy. Slumped over like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4144,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[136,790,791,393,792,54,793,778,536,794,795,796,460,167],"class_list":["post-379574","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-angry-liver","tag-appendectomy","tag-freeze","tag-health","tag-irritable","tag-loss-and-healing","tag-mad","tag-menopause","tag-mental-health","tag-moods","tag-mother-nature","tag-ovary","tag-women","tag-womens-issues"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/Mad-Face.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379574","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=379574"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379574\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4144"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=379574"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=379574"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=379574"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}