{"id":379619,"date":"2012-12-21T01:33:00","date_gmt":"2012-12-21T01:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/2012\/12\/21\/all-i-want-for-christmas-is\/"},"modified":"2012-12-21T01:33:00","modified_gmt":"2012-12-21T01:33:00","slug":"all-i-want-for-christmas-is","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/2012\/12\/21\/all-i-want-for-christmas-is\/","title":{"rendered":"All I Want for Christmas Is…"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/p>\n
How would you fill in the blank?<\/span>
<\/span>
All I want for Christmas is_______.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAll I need is my son back.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/span> <\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
\ufeff<\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

These words from a man whose son died last week.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

The day after he came home from surgery to repair a birth defect in his heart.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

The day after he turned twenty-one-years old.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

A short time after his brother took him for a brief walk in the fresh outdoor\u2019s air.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

An even shorter time after his mother administered a Tylenol because he said he didn\u2019t feel well.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Immediately they began to wonder and question.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Was it the walk? The medication?<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Did the doctor release him too soon?<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Was there a problem with the surgery that went undetected?<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

On and on\u2026<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Last Friday, twenty elementary students and six staff members were gunned down in Newtown, Connecticut.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

A senseless, tragic event\u2026<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Media in every form is bursting with news of the families, the shooter, and the shooter\u2019s family.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

In every comment thread you can find people squabbling over gun laws, the Second Amendment, Autism, and the state of our healthcare system.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

And in many a conversation you will find people who are overwhelmed and frightened and disgusted and sad and angry\u2026<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Though they died from gunshot wounds, it was not the gun that killed two dozen people in Newtown, Connecticut.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

It was a man.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

His name was Adam Lanza.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Had it not been guns, it might have been homemade bombs, designed from internet recipes and household products each one of us can find in our cupboards.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Though the doors were locked, it wasn\u2019t security issues that allowed his entry.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

It was the determination of this man.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t Autism or Aspergers that ended these innocent lives much too soon.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

It was the irrational thought process of one individual in desperate need of treatment.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Though the teachers and staff did everything they could to protect those in their care, it wasn\u2019t their fault they could not.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

It was the resolve of one person who had snapped, who\u2019s mental capacity had become (as I see it) void of clarity and compassion that defied all emergency protocol.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the thing: No amount of debate or blame or speculation will bring back any of these precious people.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

And it wasn\u2019t any one issue that allowed this tragedy to happen.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

It was the convergence of all those elements and the resolve of one individual who hadn\u2019t stumbled upon the help he needed to guide him to a different path.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

What happened at Sandy Hook Elementary was essentially the human version of weather system\u2019s Hurricane Sandy.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

The right combination of the commonplace collided to form an event of epic proportions.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Though I haven\u2019t read anything to this regard, I would dare say that depression played a part in this heinous crime.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Everyday Health<\/i>reran <\/span><\/span>this piece<\/span><\/a> on The Silent Killer<\/i> that affects millions of us each year.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I know all too well how difficult it is to live with depression.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I know all too well how difficult it is to secure a good therapist, and how hard it is when faced with <\/span>a shrink who does more harm than good<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t let fear stand in my way of asking others if they have experience with mental health professionals, nor do I shy away from asking for references.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

A month ago I phoned the offices of four different psychiatrists and psychologists who had come highly recommended.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Not one of them was accepting new clients, and the two who did have waiting lists said it could take up to four months or longer.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Those sorts of closed doors add to the frustration and anxiety of those seeking help.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

They also tend to deter the inflicted from continuing to pursue professional help.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

This lack of support often creates a sense of defeat or leads one to believe that the only option is to go it alone.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Despite those feelings, however, I pushed on.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I am a resourceful person and a business woman with friends who are doctors and nurses.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I swallowed my pride and called one of these contacts, who gave me the name of a female he\u2019d worked with, and told me to use him as a reference.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

My connection with this man was one <\/span>of life\u2019s sheer strokes of luck<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

But it was a stroke of luck I was willing to recognize when I felt I had no other alternatives.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I have my first appointment with this woman tomorrow, almost a year since I began my search for help.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Those sorts of waiting periods aren\u2019t suitable for someone who is suffering from severe depression or faced with delusional thinking.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Those sorts of waiting periods are catastrophic for family members who are trying to obtain services for their loved ones.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

If the news is accurate, Lanza\u2019s mother may very well have been caught in the web of an overworked and disastrously deprived mental health system.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

If acquiring a good therapist was such a difficult task for me, imagine how nearly impossible it might be for a single parent, for those without the energy and\/or financial reserves, and for those without the mental acuity or personal connections.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

In response to last week\u2019s heinous murders, President Obama has initiated a new <\/span>gun violence task force<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Though I\u2019m not opposed to this endeavor, I am opposed to the elimination of our country\u2019s citizens\u2019 rights to bear arms.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Warren and our children are avid hunters and fishermen who put food on our table and save us thousands of dollars in grocery bills each year.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to belabor this topic, so suffice it to say that, as with any topic of discussion there are responsible and diligent individuals, those who follow the rules.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

And there are those who aren\u2019t.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

But eliminating the right to weapons ownership will not eliminate violence.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Whereas a shrinking pool of mental health providers will only add to the personal disturbances that lead to such atrocities.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I hope that our government leaders have also established a task force to evaluate the effects of all of the funding being pulled from our mental health system.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

In the coming year, fewer and fewer social workers will accept Medicaid, due to the severely slashed rates and added burdens being paid by and implemented by our governments.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

The shriveling pool of resources and assistance for parents and caregivers like Lanza\u2019s mother and Liza Long, mother and author of this <\/span>poignant piece on raising children with mental disorders<\/span><\/a>, is only doing our country and its citizens a grave disservice.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Without access to proper care and treatment, disillusioned individuals will continue to partake in violent behaviors, attacks upon themselves and upon others, both verbally and physically.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Until we realize that there are multiple factors that need our attention, we are merely masking the problem with the proverbial bandage.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

We must stop seeking scapegoats and placing blame. <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

We owe it to ourselves.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

We owe it to all of the victims of past atrocities.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

We owe it to our futures.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

In five days, millions will gather around their Christmas trees to celebrate the season of giving.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Millions of children wait with bated breath to see if Santa fulfilled their wishes\u2026<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

And across the country, thousands will mourn.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Though our nation is focused on those who grieve around the Newtown tragedy, countless other stories will unfold, like my friend who lost his son.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Some sorrows will only be seen in the privacy of one\u2019s own heart.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

What I want for Christmas, right now, is for all those who are suffering to know The Five Facets motto: \u201cWe are neighbors in grief and allies in healing.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I know how it is to have but one (unattainable) wish. The wish to have my child back\u2026<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

And though I cannot give you that, I can give you one of the greatest gifts I\u2019ve ever received, the gift of knowing that healing is within all of our grasps.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

And a hug.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

A giant, warm hug full of all the love I have in my heart\u2026<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n
Soon\u2026<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How would you fill in the blank?All I want for Christmas is_______. \u201cAll I need is my son back.\u201d \ufeff These words from a man whose son died last week. The day after he came home from surgery to repair a birth defect in his heart. The day after he turned twenty-one-years old. A short […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4285,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[579,580,581,171,61,172,582,569,54,536,583,584,572],"class_list":["post-379619","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-adam-lanza","tag-aspergers","tag-autism","tag-chlid-loss","tag-death","tag-depression","tag-gun-control","tag-hurricane-sandy","tag-loss-and-healing","tag-mental-health","tag-newtown-connecticut","tag-newtown-shootings","tag-sandy-hook-elementary"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/tumblr_lucpw2ljib1qgr3w4o1_500_large.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379619","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=379619"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379619\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4285"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=379619"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=379619"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=379619"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}