{"id":379675,"date":"2012-07-01T15:49:00","date_gmt":"2012-07-01T15:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/01\/talking-about-sex-teens-bedrooms-and-raising-sexual-beings\/"},"modified":"2012-07-01T15:49:00","modified_gmt":"2012-07-01T15:49:00","slug":"talking-about-sex-teens-bedrooms-and-raising-sexual-beings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/01\/talking-about-sex-teens-bedrooms-and-raising-sexual-beings\/","title":{"rendered":"Talking About Sex, Teens, Bedrooms (and Raising Sexual Beings)"},"content":{"rendered":"
My college kid\u2019s girlfriend recently came to visit.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>\u201cThat\u2019s fine,\u201d I said, \u201cWe\u2019d love to meet her.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>\u201cBut there\u2019s one stipulation: You can\u2019t share a bedroom.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Now, I\u2019m not na\u00efve.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>I know many young adults have sex, and these two will soon be twenty-one.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Hey, I was once young myself.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>But I have two teenagers still at home.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>And one thing I\u2019ve learned about teenagers is that they often have a hard time putting into perspective the age thing.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>\u201cI\u2019m old enough, mature enough, smart enough\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>In case you haven\u2019t heard, teenagers know everything\u2026<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Even so, this Mama thinks she knows more than they do.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>And one thing I feel pretty confident about is that sex complicates relationships for adolescents.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Sex changes the bonds with their partners and adds to pubescent emotional turmoil.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>I\u2019ve known plenty of parents who allow their children to hang out in their bedrooms with their boyfriends and girlfriends.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>I know a couple families who have taken their high-school children\u2019s companions on vacations with them, and allowed them to share a bedroom.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I even know parents who allowed their middle-school-aged children to vacation together… <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Some even allow the sleepovers at home.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>But I\u2019ve believed differently.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>We don\u2019t allow our children to take their boyfriends or girlfriends into their bedrooms as we feel it invites temptation.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>In fact, they\u2019re not allowed upstairs where the bedrooms are.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>We have an upstairs room dedicated to the kids\u2019 game systems, but when the daters are hanging out, those units are brought downstairs to the main family room.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>\u201cIf they\u2019re going to have sex, they\u2019re going to have sex,\u201d I\u2019ve said too many times to count, \u201cbut that doesn\u2019t mean I have to give them a bed.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>When my daughter began dating her besties<\/i> brother, she was no longer allowed to sleep over at her friend\u2019s house.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>It just adds pressure and fosters an environment that could lead to more than the kids are ready to handle.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Heck, I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m really ready to accept that my children are sexual beings.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But ready or not, here I am.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>With my oldest, I have given him a little more freedom and allowed he and his companion to hang out upstairs, but the doors have to be open at all times.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>I think he\u2019s earned that privilege.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>And, yet, it is such a balancing act, a new and unfamiliar territory.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Yesterday, I chatted with a father who\u2019s dealing with the same issue, as his son is bringing his college girlfriend home next week.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>We shared a nervous chuckle.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>What\u2019s your opinion on the subject?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I know you have one.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span>Soon\u2026<\/o:p><\/span><\/span><\/span> <\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My college kid\u2019s girlfriend recently came to visit. \u201cThat\u2019s fine,\u201d I said, \u201cWe\u2019d love to meet her.\u201d \u201cBut there\u2019s one stipulation: You can\u2019t share a bedroom.\u201d Now, I\u2019m not na\u00efve. I know many young adults have sex, and these two will soon be twenty-one. Hey, I was once young myself. But I have two teenagers […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[8,134,113,63,223,224,232,89,69],"class_list":["post-379675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-annah-elizabeth","tag-college","tag-family","tag-parenting","tag-relationships","tag-sex","tag-sexual-beings","tag-teenagers","tag-the-five-facets"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379675","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=379675"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379675\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=379675"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=379675"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=379675"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}