{"id":379684,"date":"2012-05-10T03:15:00","date_gmt":"2012-05-10T03:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/2012\/05\/10\/the-high-road\/"},"modified":"2012-05-10T03:15:00","modified_gmt":"2012-05-10T03:15:00","slug":"the-high-road","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/2012\/05\/10\/the-high-road\/","title":{"rendered":"The High Road"},"content":{"rendered":"
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<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I knew some people would be unhappy when <\/span>I resigned as co-chair<\/span><\/a> from our school\u2019s Project Graduation committee.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

After all, I was the lead person keeping it all together, and my leaving would mean more work for remaining members.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I knew a few of them would grumble amongst themselves, and talk about me in a poor light.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t begrudge them that, but I\u2019d hoped they would eventually step back and see the bigger picture.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

And I knew that one or two would publicly accuse me of quitting because I didn\u2019t get my way.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I could live with that, too.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

After all, those few were the ones who refused to look at any other options, and honestly, who cares what people like that think?<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

But I never expected the vocal members to outright lie about wanting to include alcohol in our fundraisers.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe that makes me na\u00efve, but I honestly didn\u2019t see that coming.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

They were so adamant they were right, and justified such actions because our fundraising efforts targeted adults.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAlcohol is what sells,\u201d one parent said. \u201cCalvary is raffling off five cases of beer and wine,\u201d another argued.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

For fear it would sound haughty, I kept my \u201cTwo wrongs don\u2019t make a right\u201d thought to myself.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t convince them that promoting alcohol in any way for our fundraising efforts was in direct conflict with Project Graduation purpose.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I never imagined anyone would go to businesses that had been supporting us and tell them that I wanted to exclude<\/i> students from participation in the event, to misconstrue what I\u2019d been saying.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I have no idea if the person who wrote me is fabricating or exaggerating, but she told me that one local business person said what I wanted to do was discrimination.<\/o:p><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

And that I can\u2019t live with. It actually infuriates me.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I am also a business owner, and to have my name dredged through the muck like this is maddening.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

And saddening.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Project Graduation<\/span><\/a> events are hosted to create a safe, fun, alcohol and drug free night for graduating students.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

The event is the celebration party.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

The cause? To keep graduates safe on a high-risk night.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

The underlying message? That people\u2014adults included\u2014can have fun without the use of drugs and alcohol.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Earlier in the year, I had two outsiders comment that too many schools are losing sight of what Project Graduation stands for. As I\u2019d been involved in a previous group whose beliefs were much the same as mine, I couldn\u2019t really relate.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

The person I networked with about initiating this year\u2019s group was a casual friend, a business professional involved in many areas of our community, and someone I had a great regard for.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Little did I know that he would make excuses for people who weren\u2019t doing their jobs rather than hold them accountable.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Nor could I anticipate that he would be the type to jump right into the middle of the popular pool.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIt will be an event our kids will be talking about with their grandkids<\/i>. They\u2019re going to have so much fun they\u2019re not going to want<\/i>to leave.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

That was the argument he went along with when the group majority wanted to choose a venue that doesn\u2019t offer private functions. Ever. They are open to the public twenty-four-seven. A place that (I later discovered) also serves alcohol.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

These two elements violate two of the organization\u2019s promise: a safe and alcohol free event. The absence of a secure, self-contained building, not only leaves the door open for students who might decide to make bad decisions if they grew tired or bored (and they do), it also leaves each volunteer vulnerable, for it is we who pledge to protect the students.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe I\u2019m na\u00efve,\u201d one mother said repeatedly, \u201cbut my kids would never break the rules and leave.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

As much as it pains me to say, two months after these rebuttals, her thirteen-year-old son ran away from home with a suspected drug dealer. Thankfully he was located and returned home, safely, within the week.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Though I had the integrity not to point out to this woman the irony of her situation, I do wish I\u2019d verbalized this thought. \u201cI certainly hope our children have other more fulfilling events in their lives to share with their grandchildren, that this one evening won\u2019t be one of the most pivotal nights of their lives.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Even the fact that we were more than half-way through our fundraising efforts, and hadn\u2019t even raised a quarter of the cost to hold the event at this place didn\u2019t deter Jack.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

This potential disaster was ultimately derailed by one vote because my discussion of money and the committee\u2019s responsibility to bear the burden of any deficit unnerved two people enough that they voted differently than they had been discussing.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

As I rehash these details, I repeat to myself what I\u2019ve been saying these past few weeks: I need to let it go.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

But how?<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Yesterday I ran into three community members who brought up the group.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

One wanted to give me a donation. \u201cI\u2019ll be sure to get it to them,\u201d I told him.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

One whom I\u2019d served with before.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

The last, a parent who hasn\u2019t been able to attend meetings and wanted an update.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

All were shocked to hear I had resigned.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

All unwilling to accept, \u201cThe group and I were looking at a few issues through different lenses.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

And all making the same arguments I had fought so hard to convey, at the mere mention of these fixations members were fighting for.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t have to name names.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t have to make a single argument, their words echoed the head-banging I felt I\u2019d been doing the past ten months.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

And though it is comforting to keep hearing that other professionals believe as I do, I am still conflicted.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I wish these people had been on this committee with me, because it would have been such a rewarding experience.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I am pissed that the people I did work with refused to see reason or logic, and that have stooped to sullying my name.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t lead people who don\u2019t want to be led,\u201d I said to my husband months into the process.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I am saddened for the friendships this has cost me.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I am asking myself if I could have done anything differently to have smoothed out the conflict, if I could have said or done anything differently to persuade the others.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I keep telling myself that I did everything I possibly could, that I gave it everything I had.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I keep telling myself that, \u201cThe people that matter know the truth.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI want to defend myself,\u201d I said to another community leader who recently asked me about our progress.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you should attend a meeting and explain to them your reasons for resigning.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I told her I had, and paraphrased this resignation statement.<\/span><\/div>\n
After last night’s discussions, and the decisions made, I feel that, though we want the same things for our students, we are viewing what that PG “promise” entails differently. I respect your right to your own opinions and ideas regarding the following issues, yet I stand strong in my convictions. As such, I am stepping aside to allow the committee to move forward without further conflict surrounding these and other issues.<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n
“Well, then, you’ve already explained yourself,” she said. “You’re taking the high road. You can’t do any better than that.”<\/span><\/div>\n
I just wish that path wasn’t so exhausting, that it didn’t feel like such an uphill climb…<\/span><\/div>\n
Soon…<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I knew some people would be unhappy when I resigned as co-chair from our school\u2019s Project Graduation committee. After all, I was the lead person keeping it all together, and my leaving would mean more work for remaining members. I knew a few of them would grumble amongst themselves, and talk about me in a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4366,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[256,72,113,251,19,63,257,258,89,69,259,260],"class_list":["post-379684","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-beliefs","tag-children","tag-family","tag-high-school","tag-inspiration","tag-parenting","tag-project-graduation","tag-standing-up-for-your-beliefs","tag-teenagers","tag-the-five-facets","tag-the-high-road","tag-volunteer"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/High-Road.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379684","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=379684"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379684\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4366"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=379684"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=379684"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=379684"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}