{"id":379690,"date":"2012-01-11T17:44:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-11T17:44:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/2012\/01\/11\/on-living-in-the-present\/"},"modified":"2012-01-11T17:44:00","modified_gmt":"2012-01-11T17:44:00","slug":"on-living-in-the-present","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/2012\/01\/11\/on-living-in-the-present\/","title":{"rendered":"On Living in the Present"},"content":{"rendered":"<div dir=\"ltr\" style=\"text-align: left;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">Two days ago I had an epiphany:<\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\">I\u2019ve been living in the past.<o:p><\/o:p><\/span><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">And I had no clue because I had cloaked the behavior in a thick veil of distorted language.<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">I was thinking about how relationships with my friends have changed in recent years.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">How we are all at different emotional, physical, and social stages in our lives.<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">How the demands on our individual days are no longer in synch\u2026<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">How I wish I could reverse time and go back to the days when one, in particular, didn\u2019t feel so estranged.<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\">I wish I could go back to the times we talked with ease, lingering conversations about everything, nothing, and lots of hearty laughs\u2026<o:p><\/o:p><\/span><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">That\u2019s when I recognized the mask over my words:<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\">I wish I could get back to where I was five years ago, when I was in the best emotional and physical shape of my life\u2026<o:p><\/o:p><\/span><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\"><i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\">back to <\/i>that<i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"> feeling\u2026<o:p><\/o:p><\/i><\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\">that<i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"> feeling of accomplishment\u2026<o:p><\/o:p><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\"><i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\">back to <\/i>that<i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"> confidence and self-assurance\u2026<o:p><\/o:p><\/i><\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; tab-stops: 1.0in;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">Eighteen months ago I wrote <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/annahelizabeth.comthe-fat-lady-has-sung-part-i\/\"><span style=\"color: #b6d7a8; font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">this post<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\"> detailing the success I\u2019ve been longing for\u2026<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">Two weeks ago I wrote <\/span><\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/annahelizabeth.comon-failure-fat-and-hope\/\"><span style=\"color: #b6d7a8; font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">this post<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\"> about my feelings of frustration and failure.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; tab-stops: 1.0in;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">With regard to the weight, I believed if I could replicate the actions that led to my previous success, I\u2019d have current success.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">We tend to associate <i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\">living in the past<\/i> as holding on to some negative event. But the truth is, living in the past means any occasion where we dwell on a previous event, be it sad or happy, negative or positive.<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; tab-stops: 1.0in;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">And now I know. My spiritual epicenter\u2014the center of gravity that motivates and moves me\u2014understands.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">By longing for a feeling of the past, I was doing disservice to the simple elements that I\u2019ve discussed many times: We are constantly evolving and changing. As such, what worked for us before might not work for us this time. We must try something different.<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; tab-stops: 1.0in;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">Love him or hate him, Dr. Phil has a saying, \u201cIf what you\u2019re doing ain\u2019t working for ya, then do somethin\u2019 different.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">I had said that to myself many times. Okay, Weight Watchers worked before, it\u2019s not this time. People are raving about Atkins\u2026let\u2019s try that\u2026Walking worked before, but it\u2019s not now. Let\u2019s try Zumba\u2026<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; tab-stops: 1.0in;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">Until two days ago, I thought I was living in the present.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">I was open to different strategies. I was trying different things. I was setting short-term, realistic goals.<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; tab-stops: 1.0in;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">I now see that my frustrations stemmed from the <i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\">longing<\/i> for a past feeling. All of my present decisions were being made with <i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\">what-I-did-before<\/i> somehow attached to it.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">As all of these realizations flooded my thoughts, I remembered reading <i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\">The Secret<\/i>. And I thought about Byrne\u2019s suggestion to create a vision of the weight you want to reach.<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; tab-stops: 1.0in;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">I also remember thinking the idea was a bit far-fetched.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\"><i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\">But, hey, what I\u2019m doin\u2019 ain\u2019t workin\u2019 for me<\/i>\u2026<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; tab-stops: 1.0in;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">At that moment, I closed my eyes and envisioned the weight I wanted on the scale for my weigh-in the next morning.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">Much to my pleasant surprise, I stepped on the scale the following day to that very number. Right down to the two-tenths.<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; tab-stops: 1.0in;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">Okay, before you start screaming at me through your screen about how unrealistic and harebrained this notion is, read this.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">My realizations came to me early in the morning.<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; tab-stops: 1.0in;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">I spent the remainder of the day making my goal a reality:<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 1.0in; text-indent: -0.25in;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\"><span style=\"font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;\"><span style=\"mso-list: Ignore;\">\u00b7<span style=\"font-family: \"Times New Roman\"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;\">         <\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">I set a <i style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\">realistic<\/i>goal, based on where I was at that moment.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 1.0in; text-indent: -0.25in;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\"><span style=\"font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;\"><span style=\"mso-list: Ignore;\">\u00b7<span style=\"font-family: \"Times New Roman\"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;\">         <\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">I made sure I added cardio to the walk I had planned for the day, increasing my heart rate.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 1.0in; text-indent: -0.25in;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\"><span style=\"font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;\"><span style=\"mso-list: Ignore;\">\u00b7<span style=\"font-family: \"Times New Roman\"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;\">         <\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">I ate foods I knew would help release the fluid I was retaining.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 1.0in; text-indent: -0.25in;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\"><span style=\"font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;\"><span style=\"mso-list: Ignore;\">\u00b7<span style=\"font-family: \"Times New Roman\"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;\">         <\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">I made a decision and established a series of actions.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: 1.0in; text-indent: -0.25in;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\"><span style=\"font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;\"><span style=\"mso-list: Ignore;\">\u00b7<span style=\"font-family: \"Times New Roman\"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;\">         <\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">I set a short term goal based solely on the present\u2026<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; tab-stops: 1.0in;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">Success breeds success. I spent yesterday and this morning with that feeling of accomplishment driving my decisions.<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\">For the next five days, I will let the vision I have for next week\u2019s weigh-in fuel my actions\u2026<\/span><\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<div style=\"margin: 0in 0in 10pt; tab-stops: 1.0in;\"><span style=\"font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;\">What about you? Have you ever found yourself living in the past? Do you have a success story to share?<\/span><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\"> <\/span><span style=\"font-family: Calibri;\"><span style=\"font-size: large;\">Soon\u2026<\/span> <\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Two days ago I had an epiphany: I\u2019ve been living in the past. And I had no clue because I had cloaked the behavior in a thick veil of distorted language. I was thinking about how relationships with my friends have changed in recent years. How we are all at different emotional, physical, and social [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[276,262,277,263,14,278,279,54,270,280,281,152],"class_list":["post-379690","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-epiphany","tag-feelings-of-failure","tag-friendships","tag-frustration","tag-healing","tag-living-in-the-past","tag-living-in-the-present","tag-loss-and-healing","tag-middle-aged","tag-success-breeds-success","tag-weight-gain","tag-weight-loss"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379690","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=379690"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379690\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=379690"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=379690"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=379690"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}