{"id":379729,"date":"2010-08-26T20:43:00","date_gmt":"2010-08-26T20:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/2010\/08\/26\/family-momentum-ii\/"},"modified":"2010-08-26T20:43:00","modified_gmt":"2010-08-26T20:43:00","slug":"family-momentum-ii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/2010\/08\/26\/family-momentum-ii\/","title":{"rendered":"Family Momentum II"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/p>\n
Shortly after my daughter\u2019s sixteenth birthday party, my oldest son and I loaded the last few items into his car and headed out on the long journey to college.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I must say, a little worry tugged at me.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

You see, he inherited my stubborn and self-willed genetic traits.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

What if we don\u2019t get along? How are we going to survive two days cooped up in his small car?<\/o:p><\/span><\/span><\/i><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

My concerns were for naught, though. Pleasant conversation filled our days, and the one or two serious, tension-based discussions ended in compromise.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

We settled him in, fulfilled his last-minute requirements and purchased groceries.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt confident when he dropped me at the airport terminal. The watery film coating my eyes, as I hugged him tightly to me, was mostly<\/i> that of happy tears.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Mommy\u2019s<\/i> work\u2014so to speak, for I haven\u2019t been called mommy<\/i>in countless years\u2014is done.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

A new phase of our relationship is upon us. <\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow are ya holdin\u2019 up, Mom?\u201d \u201cAre you a nervous wreck, yet?\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t think I could stand it.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

These are a few of the statements other moms have made to since hearing that my son would be attending college some twenty-three hours from home.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s ready.\u201d I\u2019ve replied, \u201cIt\u2019s time for him to go. It\u2019s time for him to spread his wings, continue learning his own life lessons, and share his talents with the rest of the world.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe it\u2019s denial but I don\u2019t think so.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

A late birthday, he\u2019s eighteen-and-a-half, \u201calmost nineteen,\u201d as he\u2019s been saying since the day after his last birthday.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

And he\u2019s raring to go. Like most young adults, he \u201ccan live on my own if I want,\u201d and \u201cdoesn\u2019t need a curfew,\u201d and doesn\u2019t \u201cneed you telling me what to do.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Me? I\u2019m a classic, Type-A personality and a planner. Need I say more?<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Truly, though, it\u2019s not like you might imagine.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

We all hear tales of parents and children screaming at the top of their lungs at each other, of doors being slammed on a regular basis.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Our life pales in comparison. Our heated disagreements are random, and relatively few.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe that\u2019s why it\u2019s so easy for me to let him go.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have regrets.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Sure I have fleeting fears, Have I done enough<\/i>? What if he screws up, and I\u2019m not there to help him<\/i>?<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I believe those to be a normal part of the letting go process.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

But, honestly, I don\u2019t wish for more time.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I believe I\u2019ve prepared him the best I can, that my husband and I have guided him in the best direction possible, regardless of the circumstances that have crossed our life\u2019s paths.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Speaking of life\u2019s path, I continue moving forward in my own.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t fear the empty space that will be created\u2014that has been created\u2014by his vacancy from our home.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe that is in part that he is the first of three to leave home.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I happily waved my oldest two off to their first day of school, while mist filled my eyes as my youngest trotted off with his siblings to the bus stop, on his first day of pre-school.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I think, though, the larger reason I don\u2019t feel bereft is that I\u2019m planning my own future.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I finally know what I<\/i>want to be when I grow up.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

A person who inspires others, through words and ideas.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

My heart has known all along, I simply didn\u2019t realize it until my children were active, until my life was in chaos.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Restructuring my entire routine, and that of my young family, would have been too taxing on my already burgeoning schedule, too stressful on my already trauma-and-tension-filled days.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I had too many issues to resolve, and deemed my role as Mom paramount.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Marriage and family counselors will advise you to plan Couple Time<\/i>, time when you can nurture the partnership.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Dinners, movies, walks\u2026ten, fifteen, thirty minutes or an entire weekend. It doesn\u2019t matter as long as you are taking time for two.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Between the business, the family, and the losses tossed in our paths, we struggled, as many couples do, to complete tasks that needed to be done on a daily basis.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

We frequently failed to take time for the two of us.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

But as our children have matured, as my husband and I have grown in our own lives, we\u2019ve tried to be mindful of those necessities.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Marriage and family counselors will also advise you to plan Me Time<\/i>, time when you can nurture your own dreams, goals, and needs.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIf Mama ain\u2019t happy, ain\u2019t no one happy.\u201d \u201cIf you don\u2019t take care of yourself, you\u2019ll have nothing left for anyone else.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I, like many other women, failed to recognize the importance of the advice, to take these clich\u00e9s seriously.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I haven\u2019t been the best of role models in the taking-care-of-you department. But, I have been aware, and I\u2019ve been trying to incorporate these habits into my existence.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been paying closer attention to my needs, and working to include my goals and dreams into my daily life.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve gradually added more and more writing into each year.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve placed myself in environments and activities where I could promote a passion for communication and language.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I audited a creative writing class.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I established a local writers\u2019 group. When the other key members moved away, I dissolved it and joined a book club.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I worked as librarian for a primary school, where I encouraged a group of third graders to submit a story to Scholastic\u2019s Kids Are Authors<\/i> program, and I mentored them through the process.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I participated in poetry workshops.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I created a training series, and taught two seventh-grade classes how to add creative expression and voice to their writing.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

I have said numerous times this past year that I am preparing my nest.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

My hope is that I will be able to spend these next years building the foundation, the platform that will help me reach my ultimate goals.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

As my children leave our home, I can celebrate all of our new beginnings.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo empty nest for me. I\u2019m going to step right into the new life I\u2019m creating.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou are fortunate that you\u2019ve always done what you enjoy,\u201d I recently said to my husband.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Even though I recall lying on my sidewalk, soaking up the sun and dreaming about being the world\u2019s youngest author, I never believed writing to be a way of life, a means of making a living.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Writing was something one did in their spare time for pleasure. And though I have experienced fleeting moments of wondering where my life would be today, if I\u2019d pursued publication at a young age, I have no remorse.<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

For me, every experience is a story that sits patiently, waiting to be told\u2026<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shortly after my daughter\u2019s sixteenth birthday party, my oldest son and I loaded the last few items into his car and headed out on the long journey to college. I must say, a little worry tugged at me. You see, he inherited my stubborn and self-willed genetic traits. What if we don\u2019t get along? How […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[72,134,145,146,51,147,19,106,75,53,55,76,63,148,149],"class_list":["post-379729","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-children","tag-college","tag-dreams","tag-empty-nest","tag-five-facets","tag-goals","tag-inspiration","tag-joy","tag-learning","tag-life","tag-love","tag-optimistic","tag-parenting","tag-what-i-want-to-be-when-i-grow-up","tag-writing"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379729","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=379729"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/379729\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=379729"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=379729"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/staging.annahelizabeth.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=379729"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}