first published April 11, 2013<\/span><\/p>\n I find great joy in giving<\/a><\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n And following my recent surgery, I acknowledged how great it felt when <\/span>friends delivered food to my back door<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n But there was more to that story.<\/span><\/p>\n An uncomfortable <\/em>more that made me stop and access my behavior.<\/span><\/p>\n The third bearer of gifts sat down at the table and chatted with me as I scarffed<\/em> down the plate of sweet \u2018n sour chicken she\u2019d brought us.<\/span><\/p>\n When I\u2019d finished, she stood up and grabbed my plate.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cDo you want more? Can I get you anything else?\u201d she asked as I reached out to retract the dish from her hands.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cSit,\u201d I objected, \u201clet\u2019s visit. You\u2019ve already done plenty\u2014\u201c<\/span><\/p>\n She ignored my protest as she walked over to the sink, where she placed the dish she\u2019d skillfully secured from frantic fingers.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWe are talking,\u201d she said, \u201cbut what would make me even happier is if you\u2019d let me take care of this sink full of dishes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cThe boys are going to do them when they come home,\u201d I replied.<\/span><\/p>\n What kind of woman rejects help with the household?<\/span><\/strong><\/b><\/p>\n Oh, my god! I\u2019ve been so <\/em>lazy\u2014and she\u2019s seeing it\u2014and, oh, Dear, please don\u2019t look at the filthy, dust-and-food-crumbs-littered floors\u2014and don\u2019t have to go to the bathroom. PLEASE don\u2019t have to go to the bathroom\u2026<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Did she say <\/em>dirty dishes or is that my own sense of shame speaking?<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Inept. Slob. Lazy. What kind of Mother\/Wife\/Housekeeper are you?<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n \u201cBut I\u2019m here now and it would make me happy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Her words stopped my self-loathing and protesting dead in its tracks.<\/span><\/p>\n What kind of woman am I?<\/span><\/p>\n That <\/em>kind.<\/span><\/p>\n The kind that is busy working, mothering, friend-ing<\/em>, neighbor-ring<\/em>, spouse-ing<\/em>, and chasing her own dreams\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n The girl next door who lives like so many of the rest of us warrior women.<\/span><\/p>\n The one who has repeatedly told others, \u201cPlease don\u2019t apologize, \u2018cause I feel right at home,\u201d when they\u2019ve lamented their dirt, dust, and daily distress in her presence.<\/span><\/p>\n And how many times have I commented, \u201cIf someone\u2019s coming to see me, she won\u2019t care about the condition of my house.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n She won\u2019t care about the book-and-dust laden furniture pieces, the dining room table littered with mail and supplies left from a school project, or the cobweb arcing between the two foyer lamps.<\/span><\/p>\n Why, she, too, might even feel a sense of reprieve.<\/span><\/p>\n And if she does care? Well, then, I might not be so bothered by the failure of a return visit.<\/span><\/p>\n Why are women so wary of assistance from others?<\/span><\/strong><\/b><\/p>\n So why do we do this to ourselves?<\/span><\/p>\n Why do we say things like, \u201cYou didn\u2019t have to do this,\u201d and \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have done that!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Why do we feel like failures when our dwellings won\u2019t pass a white glove test?<\/span><\/p>\n
![\"Power](\"https:\/\/annahelizabeth.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Power-Mantra-Say-thank-you-The-Gift-of-Receiving-300x300.png\")
\u201cThank you, Friend.”<\/span><\/p>\n![\"Annah](\"https:\/\/annahelizabeth.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/Annah-Elizabeth-Signature-300x52.jpg\")
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